Unseasonably warm & oozing with jealousy.
Happy February Friends! The air is positively buzzing with the unseasonably high temperatures and the smell of love. Have you noticed it?
I originally was going to write a hate letter to T.J. Maxx and HomeGoods this week, then my attention and typing pivoted to writing about my favorite romance movies, and then work got busy and no typing at all happened.
Right now, as I write this, I am sitting in a coffee shop at 7am typing like a mad woman to make my own Saturday deadline. The stakes are high and the espresso is strong. I am listening to Suki Waterhouse. The atmosphere is lovely.
I want to talk about Valentine’s Day… and my sins.
Back in college, I used to talk about not loving Valentine’s Day - I remember being that really annoying type of ‘pick me’ girl that wanted to seem superior to the girls who were all twitterpated with the idea of getting a card from their boyfriend. Flowers?? A cute little gift?? No thank you. ‘I don’t NEED my boyfriend to do that’, I remember thinking.
A girl I was friends with at the time got a handmade card from her boyfriend and a flower. It was beautiful and heartfelt and overall, maybe the cutest thing I’ve ever witnessed in a college library at 7pm. I could have died. I remember him being slightly embarrassed over the fact the card was handmade and trying to explain why there was only one flower. His girlfriend didn’t care in the slightest. She was ecstatic.
I had a fantastic heart check in that moment, like all jealous moments, it revealed something inside of me that was the problem. All these girls who just went ahead and loved love and found cutie boys who wanted to do something for them weren’t the issue here. I was the issue and so was the green jealousy practically oozing out of me. I was also, at that time, dating silly guys who would have NEVER done something for me if I had expressed an interest in celebrating Valentine’s Day. Again, not those girls problem, but one of my own.
I also am not naive enough to assume that if a boy gives me flowers and gifts for Valentine’s Day that means he truly likes/cares for me!! Last year on Valentine’s Day I got two bouquets of pink roses (my fav) and a beautiful bracelet from a boy who had a whole other girlfriend at the time.
Cannot possibly imagine the financial strain Valentine’s Day would be on a man while he is juggling two girls. Nightmare situation. I still have the bracelet - that gold rope chain never did anything bad to me and I love her. I obviously didn’t keep the boy around.
All this to say, I understand Valentine’s Day is a mostly commercialized holiday. I agree it’s silly. I happen to love cute, silly things! I love love and I apologize to each and every girl who I considered lame for loving love in college all because I was having heart posture issues.
A very wise guy friend told me awhile back, ‘Ava you will absolutely never find some guy who loves Valentine’s Day like you do, but I have no doubt whoever you end up with will humor you and do all the things because of how much you love it,”
FINGERS CROSSED. Make your girlfriend a card this Feb 14th <3
