IHNYR (I Hate New Year’s Resolutions)

I hate New Year's Resolutions. 

4,000 years ago, some Babylonian silly gooses started making pledges to their gods at the beginning of their year (mid-March), and now we have everyone's mom deciding to go low-carb and workout three days a week come January 1st. The trickle effect is trickling here.

I wonder if the Babylonian's were making bigger commitments that weight loss or if this is historically what we were worried about. 

Circa 46 B.C., Julius Caesar moved the beginning of the year to what we now know and love; keeping with the "New Year, New Me" energy they put together sacrifices to Janus, the two-faced god whose spirit inhabited doorways and arches (FUN!). They also made pledges of good conduct to him. This, obviously, brought all the good vibes into the coming year. Lot's to think about here, folks. 

"According to recent research, while as many as 45 percent of Americans say they usually make New Year’s resolutions, only 8 percent are successful in achieving their goals. But that dismal record probably won’t stop people from making resolutions anytime soon—after all, we’ve had about 4,000 years of practice." - SARAH PRUITT

I know people who make vision boards, pick their word of the year, set monthly goals to meet throughout the year, manifest, eat grapes under the table at midnight, and create 'ins' and 'outs' lists - these are just the trends I know about!  We're getting creative with our New Year - ancient pledges and sacrifices are out, and taping photos of what you want your future to look like on poster board is in. 

What would the Babylonians think? What would Julius say?

Are we on the same page that this New Years Resolution mumbo-jumbo seems a little wonky?? That being said, I will be setting New Year’s Resolutions and have already created my 'in' and 'out' list. I am nothing if not occasionally hypocritical.

What are my New Year’s Resolutions, you ask? Fine, I'll share: 

• Finish reading The Bible 

• Write something for the blog once a week AND actually post it. (KEY-word here is 'post'. The grave-yard file of unposted stories is getting cramped.)

These are goals that I am willing to fight tooth and nail to complete - I think that the Bible one will be completed due to my fear of disappointing God. (this fear comes from me being culturally and aesthetically Catholic ((I feel guilty all the time, love fancy buildings, stained glass and over-the-top artwork)) this is mostly a joke.) AND coupled with the bragging rights that must come with reading that whole book = Success.

The writing one is much trickier. In 2020 I was really in the swing of writing and not caring what people thought about it. I posted little blurbs and short stories care free and wild with abandon. I am no longer in possession of this ability. There is something debilitating about posting out here.  Even more so when you post and almost immediately some jerk-face who wears white socks has something snarky to say. 

As we all know, people who wear white socks deserve prison time and nothing else!!  No opinions from you, Sir!! no no!!

I am bound and determined none-the-less. Check your sock color before emailing me critiques. 

Now that we've covered New Year’s Resolutions, I want to talk about my 'Ins' and 'outs' of the new year. I am a big fan of this little trend, personally - picking what you're purging from the last year? I have so much I want to toss. These seem significantly more 'vibe' based than the resolution business - I can’t explain why it feels that way. You just have to trust me. 

I'll include mine here: 

Ugh, I hope you all don't suffer from the same people pleasing, non-backbone disease that I do. My biggest ‘outs’ is the saying 'no'. Someone asks me to do something that I don't want to, and I feel like I need to provide a three-point essay explaining why I would rather not do/attend/spend money on said idea. 

I'll be practicing "Oh that sounds like fun, but I wont be able to go/attend/want to spend money on that!" in the mirror. 

Practice makes perfect!

Are you setting any resolutions for the year? Do you have an 'ins’ and 'outs’ list prepped for Jan 1st? Are you making pledges and offering sacrifices? Eating grapes under a table?? I wanna know what you all are setting out to do this year!! Tell me everything.

EDIT: concerning the whole grape thing, my sources tell me that its about finding your soulmate - I have no information other than that. If you're someone who has found their soulmate due to New Year’s grape eating please email me.